Sexual Pain in Women: Why It Happens & What to Do

If you find sex painful, you aren’t alone. Many women do. It’s awkward to talk about with a partner or doctor because it’s so private. But pain during sex is uncomfortable and upsetting, affecting how you feel overall.

The good news is that painful intercourse doesn’t have to be the standard. Learning what causes the pain and how to stop it can help you have a better sex life. 

Why Does It Hurt During Sex?

There are a few main reasons a woman might have pain during foreplay, intercourse, or other sexual activities:

Health Problems

Some health issues can make sex painful. If you have any of these symptoms, you should talk to a doctor:

• Endometriosis is an illness where tissue grows where it doesn’t belong. For example, the uterus lining can grow on ovaries, fallopian tubes, and other areas. This can lead to severe cramps, especially during your period. It can also cause pain during sex.
• Pelvic inflammatory disease (PID) is an infection in a woman’s reproductive organs. It happens when bacteria move from the vagina to the uterus, fallopian tubes, or ovaries. PID can cause pain in the lower belly, fever, and unusual discharge. If it’s not treated, it can lead to serious problems like difficulty getting pregnant or ongoing pain.
• Vaginal infections often cause discomfort or discharge. Symptoms can include itching, burning, and unusual discharge. These infections can be treated with medicine, so it’s important to see a doctor if you have any symptoms.
• Hormone imbalances happen when there is too much or too little hormone in the bloodstream. Hormones are chemicals that help control many body functions, including mood. When they’re out of balance, they can cause problems like weight gain, mood swings, and, you guessed it, painful sex.
• Vaginal cramps are spontaneous contractions of the vaginal muscles. These spasms can cause discomfort, pain, or difficulty with activities like sexual intercourse or using tampons.
• Chronic vulva pain is long-lasting pain or discomfort around the opening of the vagina. This pain can be burning, stinging, or throbbing, often without a known cause. It can make activities like sitting, exercising, or having sex very uncomfortable. 

Emotions

Feelings and mental health are really important for good sex. Stress, anxiety, and depression can cause the body to react in ways that make sex painful. For example, stress and anxiety can cause the vaginal muscles to tighten, leading to discomfort during intercourse. Negative thoughts about sex or past abuse can also cause sexual pain. 

Relationship troubles and lack of communication with a partner can add to the stress. In turn, stress can make it more difficult to relax and enjoy intimacy. It’s important to address these emotional issues through counseling or therapy.

Physical Reasons  

There are several physical reasons why sex might be painful:

• Vaginal Dryness: Not having enough lubrication is a common cause of painful sex. Vaginal dryness leads to friction, which can hurt, especially during hormonal changes or menopause. Estrogen levels can drop due to menopause, breastfeeding, or taking certain medications like birth control, leading to dryness. Using water-based lubricants can help reduce this friction and make sex more comfortable.
• Past Surgeries and Childbirth: Surgeries involving the reproductive organs can leave scar tissue, which might cause pain during sex. Childbirth can also lead to changes in the vaginal area, including scarring and tears that might not heal perfectly. It’s important to wait at least six weeks after giving birth before having sex again. This gives your body time to heal properly.
• Pelvic Floor Issues: Problems with the pelvic floor muscles, which support the bladder, bowel, and uterus, can cause deep pain during sex. These muscles can become tight, weak, or spasm, leading to discomfort during deep penetration. Pelvic exams can help diagnose these issues, and pelvic floor physical therapy can be effective in treating them.
• Skin Disorders and Nerve Damage: Certain skin disorders can cause pain and discomfort during sex. Nerve damage from injuries or surgeries can also lead to chronic pain. Consulting a gynecologist can help diagnose and treat these conditions.

18 Tips to Remember on a Daily Basis

“Take care of yourself” is something we often hear. If you’re like many women, you might shrug it off. Yet, some problems really can be solved with a bit of TLC. Here are our top 18 tips to help reduce stress and tension after a hard day.

1. Take time for walking “just because.” Pretend you’re avoiding a phone call.
2. Stretch like your cat does, but without the judgmental stares.
3. Eat your veggies. Because you’re not a rabbit, but it helps to hop through life.
4. Drink plenty of water. Keep a bottle nearby to drown your stress.
5. Laugh often.  Even if it’s at your own awkwardness or foibles.
6. Remember, bubbles make everything better. Champagne bubbles, bath bubbles, just bubbles…
7. Twist your body into yoga pretzels, but skip the salt.
8. Meditate. Sit still and pretend you’re hiding from the kids.
9. Be thankful your neighbor’s dog isn’t barking right now.
10. Remember, face masks and fancy lotions aren’t just for Instagram. Pamper yourself!
11. Gossiping with friends counts as cardio.
12. Spend time in nature. Hug a tree and pretend it’s hugging you back.
13. Channel your inner healthy chef, even if it’s just for a fancy salad.
14. Learn something new. Like knitting, or why your plants keep dying.
15. Set goals. Write them down and lose the list immediately.
16. Unplug before bed. Read a book instead of scrolling through memes.
17. Practice self-compassion.  Be as kind to yourself as you are to your plants (except actually water yourself).
18. Use lubricants. Keep things smooth and comfortable; because friction belongs on dance floors.

Get Expert Help

We hope you find the tips above humorous and helpful, but it’s no joke if the pain doesn’t go away. Get expert help from a doctor.

In short, health issues, emotions, and physical injuries can all cause sexual pain in women. If you’re having uncomfortable or painful sex, it’s time to find out why. Understanding the real reason and finding a solution can help you feel better and enjoy sex more.

Increase Your Pleasure, and Gain New Skills and Confidence 

Secrets of Sensual Sex offers free  techniques that lead to more intense, longer, and more satisfying orgasmic pleasure.  These techniques are ‘bite-sized’, and take under ten minutes to learn.   Instructions are in easy-to-understand language, and require no equipment. As you learn the techniques, you will become more in touch with your sexuality.  Also, learning can help you build the confidence you need to put your thoughts and desires into words and actions. Start with the warmup exercise, which takes about 3 minutes, and learn the Secrets of Sensual Sex!